The Lip Smackin' Crusade
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simple answers to today's food disorientation
starring Emily Wilder

Let me tell you the story behind the name The Lip Smackin’ Crusade.

It’s a good story. You see, mere hours ago (a lifetime in food years) I was eating the most divine meal. The kind of dish minstrels write ballads about. The type that overwhelms your senses; where everything fades but the contents of your mouth and the fascinating mingling of saliva with chemical compounds.

I'll draw you a blueprint:

  1. puff pastry, folding in on itself, rubbed with butter; flakey and caramelized
  2. raspberry honey mustard, with bright popping seeds
  3. wild boar bratwurst chunks, browned and musky
  4. shredded turkey, slaughtered and stewed just days ago
  5. Don Grower’s Italian parsley, ripped
  6. eleven different species of cheese, layered between and above it all


It exploded and cascaded like a symphony. A Beethoven; a crashingly overcoming symphony, wherein you think you might very well die from the pleasure coursing through your body. When I die, as all life does, let it be from food-induced positive sensory overload. The combinations so exquisite – each bite a suffocation.

So I prayed to the Gods of Food, shining protectors of all that is good, to spare my life. To grant me more of this heavenly food, so that I may be strong and travel the world as a missionary, praising the realms of deliciousness, converting heretics and non-believers. I vowed to strike down those in my path – the evil empires of bad food products and those who would produce them. I vowed to sacrifice my earthly addictions to soulless ingredients and pledge my kitchen to only the tastiest of items. I promised to build a following: to preach the word of simple nourishment and to teach my disciples to do the same – and do it well. I swore to fight for good, clean, fair food for as long as I live, and to embark on a lifelong crusade to infect the masses with excitement for the divine food. And thus it begins:

The Lip Smackin’ Crusade.
How are we going to make the world a better place?
Slowly, with incremental changes and through gentle influencing of the people to create a cultural agreement to change customs, laws, and individual actions.

What does that mean, "a better place'?
Something different for each of us. For me 'better' means: increased access to food and healthcare for all people, less violence and a restructuring of arbitrarily-drawn country borders, increased appreciation for food that tastes good, less discrimination worldwide (and increased educational dialogue about how to do that), a more politically-engaged population, and (reproductive and otherwise) autonomy of all people.

How will we ever reach that goal of a better world?
There will be no reaching it. There will never be a point with the world, or our personal selves, when the work is done and the problems are solved.
The world has been getting 'better' for a long time. Civil rights across the world have improved since *pick a reference point*, access to healthcare is better, tolerance for discrimination in schools is decreasing, gay marriage is legal in the US, farmers markets are spreading, nonprofit food-related organizations are growing across the world, increased regulations about pollution has saved our rivers from ad hoc dumping of waste...
Things are getting better.
They are also getting worse.

Violence over arbitrarily-drawn country-borders is increasing with effects of drought and famine. Civil action to limit access to abortions, birth control, and adequate other health care are growing and negatively impacting low-income women across the US. Consolidation in the food industry continues to grow, especially in the Organic sector. Environmental degradation is happening at a rapid rate. The oceans are losing phytoplankton (which produce 1/2 the world's oxygen) at an alarming rate. Growing populations of people don't know how to cook, or haven't had exposure to quality, well-grown and cared-for food.

How will The Lip Smackin' Crusade make the world a better place?
Through inspiring YOU to care about your food. Caring about your food doesn't mean abiding by strict purchasing and/or eating rule - i.e. "I only buy food from a 100-mile radius," "I only buy grass-fed meat," "I only eat food I've grown/slaughtered/prepared myself," "I only eat UNprocessed foods," or even "I only eat food that doesn't negatively affect the way my body feels." Food is about celebration. Food should taste good (most of the time; sometimes food is more about survival). The more you take an extra moment to make/eat/savor your food, the more you allow yourself to take pride and joy in your food - regardless of where it came from. The more joy YOU feel, the more you share that joy with the people around you, the more likely you are to make a Dutch baby with a friend, share some soup with a co-worker, give your sweetie some of the ice cream you made. Love and appreciation for your food is world-changing, because it is increasingly forgotten. Don't get caught up in the rules. Just eat and enjoy.

Can we really fight all this evil with just a little appreciation for good food?
Yes. You can make a difference by enjoying your food.
Even if it wasn't true that cultural change happens slowly and through the cascading influence of individuals like yourself, even if I'm wrong and you eating a delicious and simple meal has absolutely no affect on the larger systemic problems of the world - you enjoyed yourself, didn't you? You feel nourished? Maybe more able to do the amazing work you are already doing in your own little niche to fight sexism, racism, ableism, homophobia, fat-shaming, ageism, discrimination of any kind, war, habitat degradation, ocean acidification, gentrification, ignorance, sexual assault, self-consciousness, bigotry, crumbling infrastructure, corruption, income stratification, houselessness, pollution, overfishing, and the oh so many other things that need attention from our tender, well-fed, joyous selves?
Do you feel a little more hope, now that your brain has the necessary fats and nutrients required to function?
​Did you smile?

Now: Go fight for a better world.

Things that I've eaten:

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